PROFILE
FEE
CHORISTER AND
AMATEUR BAKER
EXITS
3e2 4e2 0809
ELSA
DEB
NATALIE
AYESHAH
VIVIEN
PAM
LYNN
Choir
TRACY LAM
JIAMIN
BERO
MINDY
MARE
YING TING
PEARLYN
JANA
DEBBIE - PROM PARTNER!
JEMIMAH
MJC CHOIR
TKG CHOIR
Others
THE ANNOYING ONE
CHRISTY
MYRANDOMPOEMS
MY SHOP!
REWIND
Credits.
QUOTES
" REALITY IS MERELY AN ILLUSION, ALBEIT A VERY PERSISTENT ONE" - ALBERT EINSTEIN
" WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE WITH FEELING BECOMES YOUR REALITY" - BRIAN TRACY
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Date: Thursday, November 19, 2009 Time: 10:02 AM
HOPEFULLY IT WILL BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY! (SINCE IT KEEPS ON RAINING....) HAHAHA Ollie Hall, Bruton email Beaky@bikerider.com Q. Why did the Orange roll Down the hill? A. Because it ran out of juice One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we aren’t going to know when to take off!” Two atoms are walking down the street, towards each other, but neither sees the other. They crash into each other and they both fall down. "Are you okay?" the first atom says to his friend. "Well, I think I lost an electron, but otherwise I'm alright." "Are you sure?" "I'm positive." Two cannibals are eating a comedian. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?” A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet. "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What! Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam". My Reality Check bounced. Some Funny People's Names: Al Kickurass (I'll kick your ass) Alex Blaine Layder (I'll explain later) Amanda Lay (a man to lay) Andy Structible (indestructible) Ann B. Dextrous (ambidextrous) Ariel Hassle (a real hassle) Ayma Dommy (I'm a dummy) Barry D. Hatchett (bury the hatchett) Bart Ender (bartender) Ben Dover (bend over) Ben Thair (been there) Bo Nessround (bonus round) Brighton Early (bright and early) Candice B. DePlace (can this be the place) Carson O. Gin (carcinogen) Casey Needzit (in case he needs it) Chris Myass (kiss my ass) Claire DeAir (clear the air) Cody Pendant (co-dependant) Dale E. Bread (daily bread) Dan Geruss (dangerous) Darius Lesgettham (there he is, let's get him) Dee Faced (defaced) Dennis Toffice (dentist office) Des Buratto (desperado) Dick Tater (dictator) Don Thatt (done that) Douglas S. Halfempty (the glass is half empty) Dustin D. Furniture (dusting the furniture) Ella Vader (elevator) Ellis Dee (L.S.D) Evans Gayte (Heavan's gate) Faye Tallity (fatality) Freida Convict (free the convict) Gene E. Yuss (genius) Gil T. Azell (guilty as hell) Gus Tofwin (gust of wind) Hal Jalikakick (how'd ya like a kick) Hayden Seek (hide and seek) Helen Back (hell and back) Herb E. Side (herbiside) Howard I. No (how would I know?) Hu Flung Pu (who flung poo?) Hugh Jass (huge ass) Ida Whana (I don't want to) Ilene Dover (I leaned over) I.P. Freehly (I pee freely) I. Ron Stomach (iron stomach) Izzy Backyet (is he back yet?) Jacques Strap (jock strap) Joanna Hand (ya wanna a hand?) Joe King (joking) Juan De Hattatime (one day at a time) Justin Case (just in case) Kent Cook (can't cook) Lisa Neucar (lease a new car) Lou Briccant (lubricant) Lou Sirr (loser) Louise E. Anna (Louisiana) Luna Tick (lunatic) Madka Owdiseez (mad cow disease) Mark Z. Spot (mark yhe spot) Mary Juana (marijuana) Max E. Pad (maxi pad) Melissa Tothis (ma, listen to this) Mike Rohsopht (Microsoft) Moe Skeeto (mosquito) Nida Lyte (need a light) Patty O'Furniture (patio furniture) Phil Mypockets (fill my pockets) Quimby Ingmeen (quit being mean) Quinton Chingme (quit touching me) Rita Book (read a book) Robin Meeblind (robbing me blind) Sam Manilla (salmonella) Samson Night (Samsonite) Scott Shawn DeRocks (Scotch on the Rocks) Sherman Wadd Evver (sure man, whatever) Sir Fin Waves (surfin' Waves) Stu Padasso (stupid asshole) Sue Case (suitcase) Sue Permann (superman) Tara Newhall (tear a new hole) Ulee Daway (you lead the way) Vlad Tire (flat tire) Wilma Leggrowbach (will my leg grow back?) Xavier Breath (save your breath) MATERIAL FROM :http://www.craziestjokes.com/ HAHAHAHA BYE =) |