" REALITY IS MERELY AN ILLUSION, ALBEIT A VERY PERSISTENT ONE" - ALBERT EINSTEIN
" WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE WITH FEELING BECOMES YOUR REALITY" - BRIAN TRACY
Date: Monday, October 22, 2012 Time: 3:39 PM
I know that this will all be stories someday
THIS ONE MOMENT WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT A SAD STORY
YOU ARE ALIVE
The perks of being a wallflower, arguably one of the most anticipated (well at least by me) movies to hit the screens, was INFINITE. I read somewhere that someone I knew caught it and thought that it wasn't all that fantastic and it got me thinking. The reason for that was probably because he/she was never a wallflower to begin with. I mean to have attention often beaming your way, you kind of lose how simple things can be infinite. I was listening to an interview on Youtube where Ezra Miller, he plays Patrick in the movie, told the interviewer "when are we NOT infinite?" The whole gist of it being that we should not be wasting our lives doing things that don't make us feel infinite. Of course there's always going to be naysayers who cite the whole practicality of it all but surely, shouldn't doing what makes us feel infinite to at least an identifiable extent be what we should be doing or striving for in our ever finite lives? The next day I went cycling at ECP and stood on my bike whilst going down a slope with the tunnel song on my earpiece. I felt so free and liberated, just for that few precious seconds. Going back to the point, I'm not saying that he/she has been numbed to the simple pleasures of life, but rather perhaps what they mean to us wallflowers. To maybe just for one day, get our pocketful of sunshine.
Speaking at the very least, for myself, I know rather well that I am my worst enemy at times... pretty often times.
It's just that fear of getting judged for the way I act and well, frankly, sometimes it hurts less to just fade into the background and for all the other times, it means losing more. Opportunities that ensues into the never ending realm of should haves, could haves and would haves.
I guess that's why I've gone off and flung myself in the deep end. To take charge of my future, to do something that makes me feel INFINITE. Or at least I hope it does... Instead of being herded into some course that I'll be bored stiff off. It's very easy to say "oh sure, you'll do well because you're doing what you love." BUT I know I have a ton of catching up to do and heaven help me because I don't have a back up plan. As you can tell, pre-course jitters have set in...Right now it's a whole mix of anxiety, fear of the unknown, a hint of desperation and well OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I SIGNED UP FOR. yes, I am excited to FINALLY be starting my course and have repeatedly told myself that this time will be different because I have no choice but to tackle this head on and impress chef. BUT there's probably a higher chance that I will retreat into this introverted persona AGAIN.
So what this post is all about? Be it a pep talk, random musings or even complete garbage to YOU, whoever you are... All I can hope for is that in 17 months time, I can look back and laugh, because there was nothing to worry about! With my diploma in hand and with a job waiting in the wings, all ready to take on the world of pastry.
And THEN, I would be able to say that I KNOW THAT THESE WILL ALL BE STORIES SOMEDAY AND OUR PICTURES WILL BECOME OLD PHOTOGRAPHS...
I CAN SEE IT
AND IN THIS WORLD I SWEAR,
WE ARE INFINITE
