TAKING AWAY REALITY ♥













PROFILE

FEE
CHORISTER AND
AMATEUR BAKER


EXITS

3e2 4e2 0809
ELSA
DEB
NATALIE
AYESHAH
VIVIEN
PAM
LYNN

Choir
TRACY LAM
JIAMIN
BERO
MINDY
MARE
YING TING
PEARLYN
JANA
DEBBIE - PROM PARTNER!
JEMIMAH
MJC CHOIR
TKG CHOIR

Others
THE ANNOYING ONE
CHRISTY
MYRANDOMPOEMS
MY SHOP!


REWIND


Credits.
Don't remove the credits. Thanks! :D



QUOTES

" REALITY IS MERELY AN ILLUSION, ALBEIT A VERY PERSISTENT ONE" - ALBERT EINSTEIN

" WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE WITH FEELING BECOMES YOUR REALITY" - BRIAN TRACY


    Date: Wednesday, December 05, 2012
    Time: 3:03 AM
state of suspension?

    school's going good. December's gonna be crazy


YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Monday, October 22, 2012
    Time: 3:39 PM
I know that this will all be stories someday

    THIS ONE MOMENT WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT A SAD STORY YOU ARE ALIVE The perks of being a wallflower, arguably one of the most anticipated (well at least by me) movies to hit the screens, was INFINITE. I read somewhere that someone I knew caught it and thought that it wasn't all that fantastic and it got me thinking. The reason for that was probably because he/she was never a wallflower to begin with. I mean to have attention often beaming your way, you kind of lose how simple things can be infinite. I was listening to an interview on Youtube where Ezra Miller, he plays Patrick in the movie, told the interviewer "when are we NOT infinite?" The whole gist of it being that we should not be wasting our lives doing things that don't make us feel infinite. Of course there's always going to be naysayers who cite the whole practicality of it all but surely, shouldn't doing what makes us feel infinite to at least an identifiable extent be what we should be doing or striving for in our ever finite lives? The next day I went cycling at ECP and stood on my bike whilst going down a slope with the tunnel song on my earpiece. I felt so free and liberated, just for that few precious seconds. Going back to the point, I'm not saying that he/she has been numbed to the simple pleasures of life, but rather perhaps what they mean to us wallflowers. To maybe just for one day, get our pocketful of sunshine. Speaking at the very least, for myself, I know rather well that I am my worst enemy at times... pretty often times. It's just that fear of getting judged for the way I act and well, frankly, sometimes it hurts less to just fade into the background and for all the other times, it means losing more. Opportunities that ensues into the never ending realm of should haves, could haves and would haves. I guess that's why I've gone off and flung myself in the deep end. To take charge of my future, to do something that makes me feel INFINITE. Or at least I hope it does... Instead of being herded into some course that I'll be bored stiff off. It's very easy to say "oh sure, you'll do well because you're doing what you love." BUT I know I have a ton of catching up to do and heaven help me because I don't have a back up plan. As you can tell, pre-course jitters have set in...Right now it's a whole mix of anxiety, fear of the unknown, a hint of desperation and well OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I SIGNED UP FOR. yes, I am excited to FINALLY be starting my course and have repeatedly told myself that this time will be different because I have no choice but to tackle this head on and impress chef. BUT there's probably a higher chance that I will retreat into this introverted persona AGAIN. So what this post is all about? Be it a pep talk, random musings or even complete garbage to YOU, whoever you are... All I can hope for is that in 17 months time, I can look back and laugh, because there was nothing to worry about! With my diploma in hand and with a job waiting in the wings, all ready to take on the world of pastry. And THEN, I would be able to say that I KNOW THAT THESE WILL ALL BE STORIES SOMEDAY AND OUR PICTURES WILL BECOME OLD PHOTOGRAPHS... I CAN SEE IT AND IN THIS WORLD I SWEAR, WE ARE INFINITE


YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Sunday, June 24, 2012
    Time: 2:33 PM
where do I start

    So, it's been a long time since I've touched this thing. WAY too long, too many thoughts lost, too many things that i probably needed to tell myself, too much denial perhaps? until it's come to a point where i've lost the so-called advantage and am sitting on the other side of the fence, unsure of how the heck to get to the other side again. starting with today, it's a sunday and i'm supposed to report for work at 7. Jumped out of bed at 8 and literally went OH SHIT. at that moment i considered my options, i could go late (super late mind you), take mc, take ph, go MIA. I really wanted to take the mc but I didnt know where it was easy to get mcs since there was really nothing wrong with me - no sign of flu, cough, fever, stomachache. So i took ph. and now i have another problem, what to say when i go back tmr. Should i just say i woke up late? or come up with some excuse like my sis was sick so i had to stay at home and take care of her. it's so frustrating because if i tell them the latter, i'd be lying but there'll be kind of more understanding for my sudden absence. WAHLAOEH.... i hate this feeling of anxiety mixed with apprehension. and i need to stick to my goals. I WILL SLOWLY BUT SURELY GET BACK DOWN TO AT LEAST A 51.5 progress is slow but if i keep giving up on myself then all i'm doing is bringing myself further from my goal. i've proven that i can do it. i mean i was that a month ago. So it's freaking scary how things can go downhill so quickly. it's not even funny. i can see and feel the differences and i hate how it is now. but sometimes this just feels like a lost cause because i don't know where to start. even if i do, i cannot follow it through. it's silly because i have all the reasons in the world to get back down to 51.5 but i don't. so yes. perhaps this may be a short span of optimism but imma make the best out of what is left of it and for now at least, try my best to stick to my goals. so please don't make this any harder than it already is.


YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Saturday, March 10, 2012
    Time: 12:34 PM

    OKAY. so firstly, I would like to share an excerpt of something I chanced upon on FB, written by a jc tutor to his class.You may not have done well for the 'A' levels, but being in school, you have gained many other things which will help you through life. If you have done well, you will need to be the pillar of strength for your friends who may not have. They need you. It is not the end. When all the emotions are over, everyone will need to find strength to take the next step. Don't be left behind, drowning in sorrow or joy. Don't let an examination run your life.

    Many of my friends who did not do well the 'A' levels turned out to be the bunch who are most successful in life now. One of them is a millionaire (or to be) running his own business. One is a social worker who was featured in the Straits Times some years ago doing "the most fulfilling work of her life." Many of them are earning more than me, or are living a happier, more carefree life. Because they had a great attitude and wanted to succeed.

    They never gave up, even after doing badly for the 'A' levels. They all took different paths to success, many of which may be unfamiliar to you. University and higher education might not be your options tomorrow, but neither are they prerequisites of success. Some of these 'failures' worked hard in night school and worked hard to earn their dreams. Others took it upon themselves and built an empire. A few decided that life sucked and lingered in the darkness. Who will you be?

    If you do well, be humble, and remember that a piece of paper is by no means a ticket to success either. Beyond your first university or job offer, no one really cares about it. More doors will open for you compared to others, but remember that stepping into whatever door is your choice. Ask yourself what you want in life, and do something you would probably enjoy. It makes life more fun later down the road. Don't join the Faculty of Medicine, Law or Engineering just because it's cool, it's hip or your parents want you to. Make an informed decision and live with it. From here on, no one is going to babysit you like we did in JC. Enjoy your life in university. Do things you will never have a chance to do, because it might be your ONLY chance to do it. Be open, make more friends, see the world around you. Don't live to regret not doing what you can in university. Keep a good attitude and things will always turn out fine.
    http://www.facebook.com/notes/ivan-gn/to-my-ex-students-the-truth-about-the-a-levels/10150586325146229

    when i read it i was like HELL YEAH.
    I guess that even though the thought may have chanced upon my mind beforehand, i never imagined being on this side of the bell curve. On that day, the memory of Ms Lai telling us a story of how a boy came up to her saying "Ms Lai, HOW? Got no A's..." kept replaying in my mind. I was like HOW... No A's.
    Not even for pw or chinese...
    HOW
    I mean like HOW did most of my peers at least scrape through with an A for something and I somehow missed out on that.
    it's just more of the thought that i cant even qualify for uni that bothers me,,, even till today. i always envisioned it to be me being able, but CHOOSING not to go to uni rather than well, this.

    So for now, i'm pretty much settled on going to at-sunrice global chefs academy (well, at least the campus is in Tai Seng! haha)
    and i'm gonna be gunning for the 17 month programme to get a Diploma in Pastry and Baking
    YES. I WILL BE A PASTRY CHEF. AND A DARN FREAKING GOOD ONE I TELL YOU.

    and i shall now leave you with another excerpt, this time from another 18 year old going through the sunrice programme that i'm interested in. Her blog is pretty good to read =)

    I know that lots of people aren't as lucky as I am. Not only do my parents support me but EVERYONE I know really believes in me and it's really them that gives me the strength and courage to push on when I feel like I can't anymore. I may not have as interesting a story as those who have to say, "I determined despite others thinking I couldn't do it" but I don't care.

    I guess just wanted to say that I remember all you guys everyday and in whatever I do which is maybe why I've been giving myself such a hard time lately because I feel the entire pressure of living up to everyone else's expectations. I really really don't want to let anyone down and I think constantly reminding myself that is just adding more pressure than needs to be added. I'm not used to knowing so little and being able to do only so little. But sadly the only solution here is time. I hope to make you all proud of me one day and to exceed your expectations. I really don't look like much now but you've invested your hopes in me and I will do well by you all and make sure that you can actually say, "I know her." I can't really see it at this point but baby steps, right? :)

    Speaking of interesting stories, I actually have no idea what to say whenever people ask me why I cook. Seriously the best I can come up with is, "Have you ever made chocolate cake batter? Have you kneaded bread dough from sticky to the smooth, lovely, softness? Have you really watched whipped cream change it's form? Because if you did you'd understand completely when I say that I cook because it makes me feel good in every possible way" Unfortunately real life has made me seriously aware of how few people I actually know can understand me when I say "Because I love it." I mean I think it's enough of an answer but apparently not so I might need to come up with something better than "Because I love it."
    http://pleasedessertme.blogspot.com/

    P/S: i didnt stalk her... i just googled sunrice academy into the bar and it came out... lol

    Labels:



YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Sunday, January 29, 2012
    Time: 2:18 PM


    beautiful cover that brings back wonderful memories of LION KING the musical =)
    that being said, WICKED on TUESDAY!!!! I CANNOT WAIT! =)

    work has been enjoyable, even with the really long hours that have yet to fail to make the mouths of whoever that i talk to drop to the floor. but its not really that bad once you get used to it.
    i've learnt so much already and there's still so much more to learn! The other day I went down to bedok library and equipped myself with baking books. (havent read them yet though,) haha

    okay i digress, but this is awesome =)

    WHO CARES IF CHRISTMAS IS OVER =)
    my favourite carol, CAROL OF THE BELLS
    and this was the version that made me fall in love with the song:

    Now reading the last song by Nicholas Sparks because his books seem to have lots of good reviews and so far its quite nice although i prefer Jodi Picoult slightly more.

    apart from that, quite a few meetups that were greatly appreciated and enjoyed more than anything else =)
    <3


YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Tuesday, January 10, 2012
    Time: 2:06 PM

    Hello there stranger =)
    Let's just say that freedom has been great. Fantabulous actually.
    But instead on just rattling on about what I did, I'm gonna wrap up my thoughts and embark on this new journey that is 2012.
    SO
    2011
    y'know, it's all kinda hazy, a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, most of which lost to freedom.
    To be honest, I probably would still have chosen to go through JC even though the path ahead is not yet clear to me.
    As I've said many a time, JC has matured my thoughts, I realise that I weigh my actions and words more. Not in the self- concious, low self-esteem way but more in the " is this the message or image that I want to be labelled on me? Would I want others to do this or that to me? " kind of way. Perhaps because of this, I've become clear of what are the values I hold dear, the people I hold dear and the way that I want to carry myself. Thus, I do feel that JC has made me a more confident individual... even though I am still rather introverted and what not in unfamiliar settings, which I now have to work on..... yeah....
    As such, to condense all of these thoughts, my goal for this year is PURPOSE. yes, it's a very DUH thing, but purpose in the sense that whatever that I choose to do this year will really change the course of my life. that I know for sure.
    So come what may, I will aim to strive and tough out the rough times and hopefully come out for the better.
    oh, and pick up driving somewhere in between :x
    OKAY 2012, COME HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!


YET ANOTHER STORY



    Date: Monday, November 28, 2011
    Time: 2:12 PM




    the disney mix isn't very coherent but the video is kinda cool =)

    THURSDAY 3.15PM
    cant believe its finally HERE.


YET ANOTHER STORY